Welcome to the home of the very worst of the meretricious poetasters!
number 31 for 8-21-05:
(The Hunter Thompson funeral...)
Come on, come on
You think you drive me crazy
Come on, come on
You and whose army?
You and your cronies
Come on, come on
Holy Roman empire
Come on if you think
Come on if you think
You can take us on
You can take us on
You and whose army?
You and your cronies
You forget so easy
We ride tonight
Ghost Horses
(Radiohead - You and Whose Army)
FOUR MORE YEARS, FOUR MORE YEARS!
Well, Thomspon's hit the sky, and more power to him. Depp, Murray, and a ton of others showed up, but the best were the people who stood outside of the gate just to catch a glimpse.
Goodbye again, Hunter. Without a break, here I continue your quest.
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It is only fitting on this day of tribute that I turn my laser on the people who haven't used media to make the world a better place, but instead rather choose to focus on the vomitus that comes from Hollywood and the petty problems of petty people whose pocketbooks are only outsized by their ego and their lust for power.
Actors, and the patent bullshit that comes of their work.
CNN, for instance, in lieu of maybe researching Able Danger more or finding the corruptions of our time, declares that Demi Moore has found her soul mate in Ashton Kutcher. Stop the fucking presses.
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The LA Times covered with aplomb the world's ugliest dog show. That's right, there are people who would not give a nickel to the homeless who gather to celebrate the world's ugliest dog. And El Tiempo de Los Angeles thinks that's the cat's meow. Brilliant. Another no shit: The owner of the ugliest dog says she loves her dog. No kidding. If a dog's ugly and no one loves it, it ends up dead. Sad, but true. How about reporting on the daily tens of thousands of euthanized pets?
Nah, world's ugliest dog.
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More people care about who Paula Abdul is fucking and how it influenced the American Idol election than the disenfranchised black voters in our last REAL fucking election.
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Real headline news here. The bitch runaway bride who used civic power to attune the world to her own ability to be an attention whore MOWED A LAWN. Seriously. That's the headline.
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The Jackson trial is over. They're still reporting on it. Even getting jurors to talk about whether they regret their decision or not. They're investigating a trial that is OVER when in our country there are children starving and homeless on the streets. Seriously.
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This link doesn't appear to work any more, but it was a report on how Jimi Hendrix, long dead, might have feigned being gay to get out of Vietnam. Why is this news? Because it concerns the accursed, feared, and taboo GAYS, who we've all never met and who will never become part of our nation if we just keep giving them constant news coverage pointing out how negative it is to be gay, huh?
Either that, or it's pop culture pap. Either way, fuck it.
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Patent bullshit...OF THE FUTURE! (cue music). Saddam's trial will be televised. I WONDER, oh, I WONDER how Fox News will cover that.
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More breaking news! Mike Tyson is gonna be in a porn! STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES. At least it stops them talking about whatever missing white girl happens to be missing today.
TWO THOUSAND MEN have died in a war of aggression. And Mike Tyson is starring in a porn.
And the best part? Turns out the story is bullshit. He's not doing one. Whoopsie!
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Anniston is picking up the pieces after Brad. Aw, you poor, rich bitch who can eat anywhere you want, buy any house you want, and have any man you want. You poor, poor, poor, poor, fucking attention whore worthless bitch.
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In lieu of all the above bullshit, I have a nice little bullshit story to show you here. A hopeful little news story that says we will be out of Iraq potentially by 2009. As they said when welcoming King Bush back to his holy roman podium, "FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS!"
Lies.
Mark me. We will NEVER leave Iraq. Our forces may not be the hundred thousand we have now, but, to give you an example, look at Korea.
We had approximately 36,000 troops still in Korea more than FORTY-FIVE YEARS after the end of the Korean war. Most of this is because of Kim, who wants to kill all Americans. One would think we'd strengthen our troops there instead of pulling them back, but 12,500 were just rotated away from the man who is still in power who wants to kill all Americans to the dictatorship colony we've installed in the formerly sovereign nation of Iraq.
In other words, get this:
Iraq, for reconstruction, which now poses no threat to America (most of its insurgents are just looking to get control of their country back from the occupying force that stole its government), gets 150,000 troops.
Korea, which has nuclear technology, a figurehead, and wants all Americans to die (in fact, they are indoctrinated to do such from Kindergarten on), gets 24,000.
Well, okay. Point being, even though Korea started 40 years ago, we still have a ton of troops over there. Expect to NEVER leave Iraq. Period. This is the consequence of war. I'm amazed it's taking so many people by surprise. But good. Maybe we'll never do this stupid fucking shit again. Maybe we'll learn.
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Phew. That was a good laugh.
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