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![]() Welcome to the home of the very worst of the meretricious poetasters! number 40 for 8-31-05: Zangief Had a Point... WELCOME TO THE LIGHTNING ROUND! Fred Phelps, a man I heard of a few years ago and have yet to find a reason for his continued garnered publicity, has blamed America for 9-11, saying that God is punishing us for having a society that sanctions the gays. The best part? He made his protest at the FUNERALS of two soldiers who died in Iraq. PRICK! Then Fred, why are we the richest, healthiest, most prosperous and powerful nation in the world despite being the most morally corrupt? I mean, if that's all God can do, his vengeance is pretty piss poor. Bring it on, God! Give Fred Phelps something to cry about, huh? Citation And Louisiana doesn't count. You know why? That isn't God. That's a bunch of stupid fucks who decided to live in a place that is OFTEN IN THE PATH OF HURRICANES. One, they didn't run. Two, even if they couldn't run, they lived in a place that is OFTEN IN THE PATH OF HURRICANES. Unless they've been sick since before there were hurricanes, they're partially to blame at LEAST. Like these people who live near rivers and whine when their house floods. Jesus. It's only God's fault if God struck them too stupid to run. Looks like he must have. Hurricanes move slowly. If you drop shit and move ass, you can probably outrun the worst of it, if you're not a fucktard. 9-11 victims I have pity for. People who live in the direct path of a natural disaster? Less. People who know a natural disaster is coming and don't run? NO PITY. I mean, imagine, if right now, Mt. Rainier blew and killed me. You fuckers laugh. I mean, seriously. I lived below a FUCKING VOLCANO! I deserve it. But hey, I mean, there's some pity there. I'm 100 miles away, I might not have seen it coming. But imagine that EVERY MAJOR NEWS ORGANIZATION in the country starts telling me Mt. Rainier is about to blow. I stay behind, because I'm a dumbass, because I want to loot, or because I'm crippled and didn't grab onto someone's shoulders. Well, fucking A. I hope I die along with every reporter who comes down to chronicle how fucking stupid I am, and good riddance. YOU RUN FROM HURRICANES. And Fred Phelps should run toward one. Or someone should fuck him in the ass. Maybe one of these looters can fuck him in the ass all the way into the hurricane. That would be cool. You'll recall my story of Pat Robertson saying we should kill Hugo Chavez. It sent Chavez on a bender and caused an international incident. A man calls the governor and says he feels like (not that he was going to, that he felt like) strapping a bomb to himself and coming to the governor's ball. He is in jail as we speak. He should be freed, or Pat Robertson should be in jail. To complicate the matter further, I feel like strapping a bomb to every last mother fucker in this nation who thinks that it's right that Robertson is free and this man is in jail. But then, should I be jailed for that? NO. Because it's a feeling, not me saying, "I'm going to do it." I constantly feel like bashing people's heads against the sidewalk. I feel like screaming at children and kicking dogs and throwing javelins into the nuts of publishers. Come arrest me, huh? Citation A Fox News correspondent named a family's home as the home of terrorists. Problem being, they aren't terrorists. They've received death threats and had their lives disrupted. Why is this correspondent not fired? Why are there not some criminal endangerment charges brought to his person? Explain this to me... Citation Teachers can be fucking morons. Take this school. They say you can say fuck five times but after that, you'll get talked to. Note that the article is too cowardly to say fuck. That really undermines the efficacy of their story. But hey. Get this. Kids should be allowed to say fuck. There is nothing wrong with the word fuck save what we assign to it. The only reason fuck is forbidden is because people tweak when you say fuck. It's like Voldemort. It's fucking retarded. It's Voldemorting retarded. Same fucking function. So either let the kids have freedom of speech that people have died to earn them (har har) or grow some balls and tell the kids not to. Cowards. Citation Jesse Helms, the man who voted against a holiday for Martin Luther King (that's what he's most famous for) and numbers among his other great accomplishments fighting integration, thinks that 9-11 was nothing compared to the babies slaughtered by abortion. Yeah, Jesse. Except the 9-11 victims could think, feel, breathe, and were conscious and aware of what was going on. But no difference can be seen, one would assume, when you're as vapid and brain dead as Jesse Helms. Citation Green Day won a shitload of awards at the MTV music awards. They expressed happiness that there is still room for rock at MTV. Sadly, that is only the one Green Day video they play 3 times an hour. But then, Green Day's album is, hands down, the voice of our protest. Just because some dumb 13-year-old girl who proudly supports the war listens because she thinks Billie is cute does not undermine the efficacy and the point of that album. It deserved its honors. It deserved more. It is, to my mind, the greatest album of our time. I hope to be proven wrong, but I haven't heard better in ten years, and that album ten years ago was Green Day, so...good luck. Citation Cindy Sheehan proclaims that she is glad Bush never came to her protest because it cemented and polarized the anti-war movement. I would agree. Though I resent the come-lately folk, at least there is finally a real undercurrent against this war. Which makes it hard for me to say, loudly, WE CAN'T PULL OUT. I hate this war to every fiber of my being. I really do. But we started it, we must end it. It's like a dog with a broken leg. Do you walk away from it because it's ugly and horrific and you don't want to deal with it? Especially if you broke the leg, even if it was on accident? No. You kill it, or you ask for help putting it out of its misery (UN). If I know Bush and his ineptitude, he WILL pull out early. He's a fool, it would not be out of character. Citation This article proclaims that Gitmo defendents are being granted more rights. Like actually being able to SEE their own trial and evidence against them. Wow. Aren't we SO nice. Maybe we might actually give them a trial some day. Naaaah. They're just brownies. Let's make them box! Citation |
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