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![]() Welcome to the home of the very worst of the meretricious poetasters! number 44 for 9-4-05: Robert Novak's Phone Number It's time for another "It's not my fault!" Took a while to accumulate them this time. Not sure why, but today, I had just the right number of stories. So, back in July, this guy, his life all fucked up, decides to kill himself. So instead of doing this arrogant act quietly, he goes into the lobby of where he works and blows his brains out in front of everyone. Because, of course, the mess he made of his life was not HIS fault, so let's traumatize others, huh? Good going, fuckstick. Citation Robert Novak revealed the name of a CIA agent in his column. This is illegal for a reason. He says that it's not his fault, because no one ever said that revealing her name would put her in danger. Really? Well, no one ever told me that revealing Robert Novak's phone number might lead to him getting annoying calls, did they? I should do that. Citation In fact. I will. Robert Novak's work phone number, found through a painstaking amount of research, is (202) 393 4340. Once again, that's (202) 393 4340. Just to make sure you didn't miss it, that's: Please. I am just releasing this information. I have no knowledge of how you will use it. Don't blame me. Though I couldn't find his wife's name. :( I saw an episode of Cops a few weeks ago. Some of you may not know it, but I'm a Cops junkie. Yeah, they show too many black dudes as the criminal, and they show a shitload of women as the victim when there are scratches all up and down the dude's face, but it's just fun to see someone thumping the skulls of idiots. Anyway, I always watch the Pierce County ones with avid interest, and I saw one where this dude in a sleeping bag just would NOT listen to cops. He was sleeping, but he ignored them when he woke up. So they tazered his ass until he listened. I don't care how fucking tired you are, how drunk, if you ignore a cop and you're a suspect with a good reason, your ass should get tazered. So this dude is now saying it's not his fault, that the cops should have been more patient with him. Because he was not guilty of the crime. Well, if you're not guilty, fucking turn over, tell the cops, and then you're set free when the investigation is over. You don't cooperate, you get tasered, even if you're innocent. There's a reason for that. You waste cop time, and the bad guy gets away. JESUS. Citation Teachers have organized a school for victims of bullies. So instead of just STOPPING the bullies, the teachers give up and move to the next school. Why do you do something so dumb ass stupid, the media asks. They respond, because it's not my fault, the bullies can't be stopped. Bullshit. Citation A new study links smoking and extra fat. How long will it be before someone says they're fat because they smoke, and they can't quit, so it's the cigarette's fault they're fat? Citation Race is again brought to the fray in New Orleans. The Bush administration has rushed to forward to the media Condoleeza Rice's quotes about how New Orleans isn't about race. Citation For once, I agree. But when will Rice admit that in our country, a disproportionate number of the impoverished are black? And that such LEADS to situations like New Orleans? NEVER, because it's not their fault, right? Pssht. And finally, the ultimate "It's not my fault!" New Orleans. Bush blames the state. The state blames the mayor. The mayor blames himself, but the mayor is right. The people blame the state. The blacks blame the whites. The whites blame the blacks. The looters blame the police. Here's the reality: IT'S GOD'S FAULT, OR IT'S EARTH'S FAULT. But then, who will blame God, huh? Or lament the Earth. Nobody, because it's fucking retarded. Instead of blaming, help somebody. Do something productive, or shut the fuck up, you morons. Citation |
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