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NealBailey.com
Welcome to the home of the very worst of the meretricious poetasters!




number 45 for 9-5-05:

Hillary Duff IS A Douche (2): (Rock You Like A Hurricane)

      I just read a heartwarming article released by a publicist about Hillary Duff. It would appear, in her merciful attempt to help the people of New Orleans, she has given two hundred and fifty thousand dollars to the Red Cross.

      For this, Hillary Duff is an even bigger douche than she was before.

      Why?

      Simple.

      Assume you made 19,000 dollars a year. In other words, assume you're impoverished.

      Giving what Hillary Duff did, proportionately, would amount to a BIG sacrifice. Five hundred and sixty some dollars. That's a BIG DEAL when you make nineteen thousand dollars a year, and chances are good, if you did that, you wouldn't profit from it, at all. That's eleven bucks a week, when your total salary is three hundred sixty five, before taxes. That's a big damned contribution.

      Assume you made 50,000 dollars a year.

      It's less of a sacrifice...on the order of thirty bucks a week, or fourteen hundred dollars in a year. But hey, when you have 50,000 dollars, fourteen hundred could be one SUV payment.

      Imagine you made a MILLION dollars a year. You're fucking rich, asshole!

      That means that you just gave TWENTY-NINE THOUSAND DOLLARS to charity! Of course, it doesn't mean a goddamned thing to you, because you still have nine hundred and seventy thousand dollars the TRY and SOMEHOW get by with, but okay. You've made a sacrifice.

      Last year, Hillary Duff made 8.4 million dollars.

      With her donation came a press release, a contrite comment about understanding suffering from a woman who's been a millionaire since before puberty, and a series of statistics about just how many people the money will feed, proportionately.

      Of course, it REALLY doesn't mean a god damned thing to her, because she still has 8 MILLION dollars to try and survive the year with, not counting all of the money she's made in fiscal year 2005.

      So what is it called when you give away a portion of your income that will IN NO WAY alter your lifestyle or make you lose anything you know and love in the name of good PR and taking advantage of poor people dying?

      Yes, that in fact makes you a total douche. If she had given a MILLION dollars, or TWO, then I might see how she's KIND OF making a sacrifice. She's not. Douche!


      "It's heartbreaking to see the devastation on TV. People are missing family members, and they have absolutely nothing left, not even food and water."

     (Hillary Duff)


      "It's abominable that a rich woman with no talent that is missing no family members and still has EVERYTHING left, including caviar and Perrier, after her token PR donation to charity, can still capitalize on misery with no one objecting. NO MORE."

     (Neal Bailey)



     Citation

     Watch the media finger fuck this bitch without realizing that all she's ever done is soulless Disney trash in the name of money and teaching teenage girls to be fluffy morons, and think about her "nobility":

     Citation

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