Welcome to the home of the very worst of the meretricious poetasters!
number 85 for 11-24-05:
Gobble Gobble, Bitch
Happy Thanksgiving. This is a day when we're supposed to give thanks for our plenty. Seeing as my plenty hasn't really hit me in the ass yet despite my hard work, I'll just treat it like a normal day.
A couple days ago, I was going to the movies and I read reports that a man with an AK had stormed the Tacoma Mall and taken over the Sam Goody, shooting people. My gut response was to turn to my buddy Brock and say, "Hey, at least that'll lower prices, and maybe the mall won't be so full of jackasses this Christmas season."
Other people, of course, are pulling the 9-11 reaction. It could happen again! We need to beef up security! We need to profile! We need to-
Ah, shut the fuck up. We need to go on living. It's because you jackasses react so much to these stupid fucks that we even have them doing this shit in the first place. If we just shrugged and said, "What an asshole!" they wouldn't do it for the attention they desire.
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Behold! The Nazi Youth! (They're training them young to campaign for Truth, Justice, and ONLY the Republican way!)
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Behold! The Nazi Youth! (Kids with cell phones! Targeted advertising to be as snobby, elitist, stupid, and oblivious as your numb fuck yuppie parents!)
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Behold the bittorrent sellout! Bram Cohen, even though his software is breaking no laws (only the people who use it illegally, it's like blaming gun manufacturers for robberies), decided to "shake hands" with the MPAA. Which means he'll allow the MPAA to censor and change his site in exchange for them not suing him. Coward. Stand up for the shit you believe in. Money isn't everything. Integrity is.
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And finally, off subject, take solace this Thanksgiving in the fact that though Bush and Blair wanted to bomb Al Jazeera, the free press of the Iraqi world, if anyone releases the memo that says that they did, even though they're claiming they didn't say it, they'll be arrested.
So make sure you say, "Happy Thanksgiving!" without the "Bush wanted to bomb a press" in the middle there, because otherwise, they might make you the turkey.
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And check this out, too:
Turkey Fervor!