Advice For A Friend

So Superman is all fucking Lois Lane in the ass

And Jimmy’s taking pictures

And the goddamned Daily Planet is just erupting in cheers

We have windows exploding from the force of Superman screaming

As he nears orgasm

And with a sickening crunch spunk flies through Lois’s fragile

Earth-body and into some nameless reporter

Who flies through a support column

Sending the building collapsing in on itself

So Superman is all naked and holding up this building

And they’re all looking at him backwards and screaming

And Perry’s masturbating at the sheer craziness of it all

Lex Luthor rappels in through the side windows

Spots his opportunity, and begins boxing Supes’ nuts

But boxing Superman’s nuts is just like punching his face

And he breaks his hand before realizing, sitting back

Numb in incomprehension as a piece of Lois falls from the ceiling

And into his lap

And anyway, the point is, THAT is awkward, dear

Not having to tell a boy what you really feel about him