Anthropomorphic Ass Licking

I talk to the dog most all day

Usually asking him rhetorical questions

So that I can feel there’s someone else in the house

He comes with me on drives

Which soothes my mind

Because being a consumer

As needful as it may be

Unhinges something in my brain

I don’t think it’s procuring the goods

It’s the people all around

Complaining about nothing

And unable to search for thirty seconds

Without fetching someone to find it for them

The dog can find things I don’t want him to find

Which makes him a more formidable opponent

I was watching some cranberry sauce stew

And munching on frozen cake

When I went to check on the fish

And the dog was watching the cat

Sitting in its cushion trying to goad him

The dog bent over, stuck its head in the cat’s ass

And began licking

The cat gave a kind of WHAT THE FUCK look

Then started in with the rabbit kicking

And the hissing

And running away

The dog had its cushion back, finally

Anyway, not sure how that relates, I just wanted to say

For the first time in a long while

I didn’t know what the fuck to say to my dog