Figment

 

 

            My buddy Will

            Is a wheelchair bound

            Crazy

            Intellectual motherfucker

 

            He scares me because

            I think

            If he ever gets over his fear of writing

            He may actually best me

            In technicals

            And ideas

            Who knows, maybe even

            Speaker tags

            He is the only one to regularly school me

            On grammar

            And make me look like a piss crotch stained

            Five-year-old

            I respect that

 

            I went to see him in Canada

            The food there is plentiful

            And cheap on American dollars

 

            He drove his truck

            With handles for the brake and clutch

            And he insists

            On holding the door for people

            He will elbow you in the nuts

            If you try and help him

            He’s more capable than I am

            That’s for sure

 

            I bought dinner

            So he offered to buy snacks

            But I thought he bought dinner

            And then we bought snacks

            And I stacked the shit up

            Like I was buying it myself

            Even buying a scratch ticket

            And when I realized

            He forced me to let him buy

            All of it. Every fucking bit

            Even though he’s just as

            Fucked financially as me

            Of late

 

            It’s odd and wonderful

            To have a friend as generous

            As I try to be

            And it means a lot

 

            His only limit is

            When you ask him about

            How the sex works once you

            Get into a wheelchair

            He says he needs a date first

 

            Anyway

            I tell you all of this

            Because I thought it was funny

            That when I went to see him

            Picturing his apartment in my head

            Before I thought about it

            I saw a long staircase leading up to

            A second story apartment

            Which seems really retarded until you realize

            That’s just his fucking style

 

            Salud, Will

            And

            Fuck you.