Neal’s Fishing Show

She doesn’t like fishing

I don’t like people

My mistake

To take her with me

I just need a lake, a reel, a sun

Anything but the endless blank faces

And I sit in this cave and I think

By God, some day

I will leave this for the woods

And fuck trees in the skins of rabbits

And never deal with any of this shit again

She has menstrual cramps and a headache

And she casts like a five year-old

So she gets frustrated and cries

Always with the crying

When I get sad

I cry

But I fucking well do it alone

So no one else has to feel

Bad like I feel

It’s not this fucking patriarchal façade

Tears just fuck things up

Women know this

Which is why they do it

Women love chaos

I love to fish

I love a lake

It’s gonna be different this time

She says

I say you’ll cry

You cry every time

It’s only been twice

She counters

And I grunt

What? She asks

I just realized that I’ve only been fishing twice in three years

Yeah, so?

Well how many times have I been to work?

Oh.

We paddle out to the boom on this

Fifteen thousand acre lake

All the way across

My arms are tightrope wire

And my brain is on fire

But it takes my heart off of

The inevitable failure of my

Relaxation

Afternoon, because I can never wake up before afternoon

So we only have a few hours

But I cast, and I relax.

Ten minutes later, there’s a snap.

Wha the fuck?

It’s the oar! The oar!

Ah, don’t worry. They’re floating oars.

(I reach out for it. It sinks)

WHAT THE FUCK?

It broke in half! It broke in half!

How the fuck did it break in half?

I don’t know! It just did!

And it did. It just did.

We bump into the shore, and there’s a newt on a log. I pick it up.

He is dark and fearful. He knows I would as soon

Kill him as play with him. He’s smart.

And he’s not crying.

She’s crying.

WE’RE FINE, FER CHRISSAKES!

I can paddle back with one oar!

I’ve been in worse shit than this!

Remember college?

She sobs.

I pick up the paddle and begin to row.

We reach shore before sunset

And her tears are dry but she’s still bitchy.

I put the strainer into the trunk as she

Pushes on the inflatable raft to deflate.

That was two years ago, now.

Haven’t really been fishing since.

Just this shit.