Grandmother

Family is always fucked

Even if they’re normal

Because you always have to compare

The crazy to the normal

Consider my grandmother

Who hasn’t driven a car in 60 years

And gets mad when people won’t give her a ride

Despite a mass transit that will pick her up

And take her anywhere

And despite the fact

That she only goes to find more goods

To pack rat into her home

Which is lined top to bottom with garbage

And consider my second grandmother

Who lives far away

Who is kind and giving and selfless and normal

So starkly in contrast to what I am

That the visit was reassuring and scary

All the same

When the pack rat calls

Which she does twice daily

It is to guilt for service

And though you love her

You often want to choke her

And when the South Carolina grandmother calls

To tell you she’s having

Five valve bypass open-heart surgery

And you say “How are you doing?”

She says

“Never mind. How’s your writing going?”

And makes you want to cry.

And when you tell the pack rat

That the other grandmother is having surgery

She says “That’s interesting.

I ate an egg for breakfast today.”

I suppose it beats

A grandfather who buggered me in the ass

Or a great grandmother who provides money in exchange

For you sacrificing your dreams so that she can

Vicariously live hers

As I spoke to her after the surgery

She congratulated me on my book deal

As the message light blinked

Both are not long for this world

But one still is