(For George)
We’re badass motherfuckers
And don’t let anyone step
Or tell you otherwise
(We say)
Bitches
As we climb into the cage
And the carnie closes the door
It’s a ride that operates like a ferris wheel
You go in a circle
In a box that can rotate
Under your own power
On the vertical anterior/posterior axis
Real men can spin for the whole ride
And fuck you
We are real men
And we thump our chests
As the women laugh
We will show you bitches
That we are kings in this funpark
The ride starts
But in the four minutes before it does
Without the aid of inertia
We are already spinning
Using our massive and manly arm muscles
To rotate, lifting our bodies and rotating them
And the heavy grate car
To the glee of those outside
And then it starts
With inertia
We grow much faster
DON’T GO WEAK SISTER ON ME, BITCH
OH YEAH? EAT THIS SHIT
And the car stops rotating
So that it slams into me
And instead
I manually take the work of both men
And begin slamming him
We grapple, and it is much like a fistfight
In a gravity simulator
We are both bruised
And battered
And more full of testosterone than you will ever be, punk
And laughing
As the bolts come raining down
The ride continues
Longer than it has before
In our experience
And when it stops
We are at the top
Screaming and laughing
Our dicks larger by the minute
NO WEAK SISTER, MOTHERFUCKER
I FUCKED YOUR WEAK SISTER, YOU BASTARD, THROW YOUR BACK INTO IT
They debark the passengers, but we are still spinning
In my weak and female heart
Which you will never see
I am in total pain
And almost barfing
I have no internal compensation
And my nerves scream
Every thirty seconds, another car unloads
Twenty more cars
My female heart tells me
No weak sister
No weak sister
We spin and we spin
And it feels like they’ve unloaded all of the cars twice
And they have
Once
All but ours
As we swing and curse and spin and spit and yell
In the frothy mead style of our ancestors
Who are not your pussy ass
But come down in our gladiator blood
On the evil ferris wheel
They start loading the ride again
And we continue speeding
My sides are a mass of bruises
And now the curses are not in jest
They are real
We are in a battle of life and death
And my head hits the grate
Tattooing me with brilliance
YOU FUCKING
PUSSY
YEAH, I AM FUCKING PUSSY,
WHILE YOU FUCK ASS!
WHY AREN’T YOU SPINNING?
I AM SPINNING. I JUST ROCKED YOUR ASS SO HARD YOU THINK WE’RE STANDING STILL
PIMP SLAP YOUR ASS! YOU’RE MY HOOKER NOW!
My ear is bleeding
They start the ride again
They’re not letting us out
And they don’t have to
We could ride this fucker forever
And you bloody well know it
NO WEAK SISTER
NO WEAK SISTER
NO WEAK SISTER
After the third run through
They poured us out
Screaming
Scrambled eggs and feminized
Vomiting in waste baskets
But look at you, cracker. Please!
How dare you question our masculinity?
Spin this book, bitch
Spin it!
No weak sister
No weak sister
No weak sister,
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARF