Big Blue Report for 7-18-04: Erica Durance and Tenacious Ganthet

Neal Bailey

Steve asked me to fill in for the Big Blue report, which is a typically brief overview of a particular concept or the other with something regarding Superman…in this case, the topic was the recent announcement that:

(SPOILER)

Erica Durance will be entering the fray this coming season of Smallville as a young Lois Lane, complete with her father, Sam Lane.

Insert reaction: HERE.

Now, being the Smallville reviewer, I should have about 8 bojillion things to say about this, but the reality of the matter is that I put Steve off for several days because I couldn’t think of much to say. Because really, who IS Erica? We have no idea. I’ve never seen her act, she hasn’t gotten much on the IMDB. So I can express gratitude that it’s an unknown, but if it’s an unknown to acting in the sense that Shaq was an unknown before Steel, we’re in trouble.

So let’s turn this article a little bit, shall we? I suppose the following: WHO CARES? It’s two months before we find out if it’s a bad idea, and in two months, we’ll decide whether it was a good idea or a bad idea. The internet has become focal on whether a thing that doesn’t exist yet is a good thing or a bad thing, and that frightens me. Soon it’ll be, Neal Bailey writing a book? That would SUCK! So don’t give him a chance. I think it should be let Neal Bailey write a book, then if it stinks, he’s up out. Etcetera.

There is one qualifier. The new proposed Green Lantern comedy, with Jack Black as Green Lantern…that’s like Catwoman suck. Some things, you just know. But if there’s doubt, as there certainly is in whether Lois will be good or bad, just run with it on the fly.

My personal feeling is that Lois Lane should not be introduced in Smallville, which I’ll elaborate more on the coming reviews, but my reasoning is that it’s very important that Clark and Lois meet as rivals and become lovers at the Daily Planet. I think they may be going for the three way with Lana, and more Lana focus just makes me want to puke jet fuel.

However, let me make it clear that I was also against seeing Jor-El, Perry, and Kara before Metropolis, and Al Gough and Miles Millar have made just fantastic inroads there. So I voted, per the online poll, it depends on the story. And so should you. Don’t condemn it before it happens.

I’ll even concede, begrudgingly, though it sounds like buttocks warmed over, the Green Lantern movie just MIGHT be more important to the history of cinema than Citizen Kane.

I’ll believe anything after Moulin Rouge, which looked like the suckiest of suck suck movies of all time to me, and then I sat through it and bawled like a five year only. Now I know some of you may hate Moulin, but my point is, condemning something before you see it or understand it is what’s commonly called narrow mindedness, and it leads to the most atrocious of human debacles, even beyond human murder to me, censorship by proxy. We can’t tell them not to say or do something, but we can abuse them until they stop doing it. Agree with Michael Moore or not, trying to stop him from saying whatever he wants because you don’t agree with it is on a par with trying to say Lois CAN’T be in Smallville just because YOU, or even a MAJORITY of fans don’t like it. Why? Because you don’t have to watch either. Change the channel.

I won’t, but that’s because I trust Gough and Millar with what they’ve done so far.

So, in summation?

Who the heck is Erica? No idea.0

Will Lois in Smallville be a good or bad thing? Don’t know.

So in terms of Superman, alas folks, I have failed you. But this report has a moral:

Judge each thing as you see it, do not predetermine anything on faith, and for the love of monkeys, immerse yourself in media and opinion, as it will benefit you, and do not immerse yourself in opinion of media you have not seen, because it leads to censorship.

And feel free, after you have been through that last, convoluted paragraph, to stand boldly with me and exclaim,

THAT SUCKS!

Sucks like Jack Black singing Rock and Roll on Oa, baby. Does this mean Ganthet will be the other half of Tenacious D? I’ll pay to see that on principle.